Words spoken to Richard Feynman from his wife, also the title of the second book of his memoires.

What do I care what people think?  I spend too much of my life concerned with what people think.  I let it stress me out.  I live far too much with what-ifs.  I concern myself with what people think about me, even people who are no longer in my life, people no longer likely to be in my life, people who have caused me a lot of pain are only in my life as historical lessons.

And yet I still care what people think.

I try not to.  I see a lot of my friends just doing their thing and they seem so comfortable in their own skin, just doing whatever they want to.  If they piss someone off, so be it.  It's not like they can't make ammends.  They seem free, they have fun, they live their own lives. 

So what do I care what people think?

For the longest time a tenant of my life was to strive for an unattainable perfection.  To be the best I could be.  To compromise when I should, to avoid conflict, to life a peaceful and giving life.  Not all of those things work all the time but here I am left with the residue of that lifestyle.

To a certain ex of mine: you did a lot of damage to me with your hollow promises and your hypocritical idealisms.  You failed to live your life in the way that you wanted others to live around you.  You caused me years of pain and harm.  I steer clear of your path but I no longer care what the fuck you think as you are dead to me.  I think I cared the most in my life what you thought.  You told me you didn't deserve me, you were right.  Now you don't have me and I'm finally fine with that.

What do I care what people think?  I don't know.  But I think I still care too much.  How does one unlearn this?